I’m baaaack! I am back both in this being my first post in 2 months and in recently moving to the Northeastern corridor.
I mentioned in my 10 year blog-iversary post that I may have some additional life changes coming. Indeed! I was offered a new university job and I am now a New Jersian!
After 5 years in Miami working as the associate director of the Pride Center at Florida International University (FIU), I decided it was time to grow in my career and make a grand return to the New York-Metro area.
There were many motivations for this deviation or shift in career and location. I share some of it below, and how my new life has been going here in New Jersey just one hour outside of my favorite city on Earth—New York City! I also reflect on what I miss about Miami and what may be in store for future travel.
Career Growth Mindset
There was nothing wrong, per se, about my job at FIU. I absolutely loved the work I was doing there. Now named by US News as a top 50 public university, FIU as a whole is growing, innovative, and surprisingly forward thinking despite its context in Florida.
I was grateful to have the support of administration in the work I was doing to support LGBTQIA+ students. This included their protection of my salary, my programs and my students as they carefully also aligned with anti-DEI legislative changes.
FIU’s president attending my “going away” party on my last day of work.
I was proud to see the Pride Center through several major cultural rifts, including the pandemic, the Don’t Say Gay bill, the Stop WOKE act, and the anti-DEI bill. I created large, impactful, sustainable, student-led programs and opportunities that gave students the tools to grow and continue to do inclusivity work (with or without me).
I loved my students. I loved Indee, my program coordinator I hired and worked with over the last 2 years. We had a great little team of students that we supported in the office. And we put on some amazing programs. I loved so many of the people I met at FIU and so much of the culture there. It was really a “great place to work.”
But I was growing beyond the walls of my job title, job description, and what FIU could offer me in more ways than one.
I wanted to have more responsibility, to apply a wider breadth of my skillset, and to challenge myself to grow as a DEI professional. I also needed a better salary. Straight up, inflation and cost of living skyrockets over the last 5 years and my salary did not. I applied to a lot of places—both inside and outside of academia and I received a handful of offers. Many did not meet my standards for workplace environment, support, salary, location, and more.
Eventually, Rutgers University in New Jersey made me an offer to work in an office that I am so pleased meets all my expectations (and possibly more!). I have been here now for 4 weeks working as the Director of the Tyler Clementi Center for Diversity Education and Bias Prevention.
I work with a team of professionals who have each other’s backs in a way I’ve rarely experienced in this work. I am feeling more affirmed than ever—truly valued for what I can bring to the team and the university. I also feel like I can really learn and grow from the people around me. It’s truly the right place for me at this point in my career—a place of real growth and opportunity both given and received.
Relocating Was Wild
Moving to New Jersey from Miami was not an easy feat. I was 5 years younger when I moved to Miami from New York. Moving now was definitely harder on my body. No matter how much help you get, you still end up lifting boxes and I felt it this time!
First, I felt it in my wallet. After all is said and done, this move cost me a lot! I did receive some support from Rutgers to offset things, but phew! The actual cost of moving so far in the current economy was about 3-4 of my budget two-week trips to the Caribbean. Ouch. When I describe it that way, it hurts! So many travel dollars down the drain!
This was also a quick move that was hard on my body. I accepted the job offer in early August, put my two weeks in at work, traveled to NJ to search for places to live after my last day of work, got my condo in Miami prepared to be rented/sold, started working remotely, and packed and organized everything for my move in date of September 1. Three weeks. All of that!
Over the last several weeks, I’ve been slowly moving in and organizing my life to be fully set up in New Jersey. There’s still some last pieces to finalize, but I am happy to say things are slowing down to a normal pace and load. My body is finally recovering.
The New Jersey Life
Never did I ever think I would be a New Jersian! To be fully transparent, I used to make fun of New Jersey. It’s kind of a New York thing to shit on New Jersey. AI literally used to joke that NJ is the “armpit of the country.” I also used to joke that Florida is the penis of the country and ended up moving there! LOL. I guess this is a pattern. I better be careful where I shit on next, eh?
Anyway, I’m here now. And I am growing to appreciate where I live. While the rent is too damn high and the congestion is out of this world (NJ has the highest population density of any state in the USA), there are some things I really love about here. In particular, I love where I’ve decided to live.
I currently live in Highland Park in a cute apartment. It’s large and updated. I have a beautiful kitchen to cook in and I’ve been loving decorating the large, open concept living and dining space. This includes a little “reading nook” area that I’m obsessing over! I bought lots of plants for the space because I gave most away in Miami and, for the first time in 8 years, I have tons of light coming in through East-facing windows.
This is a really cute neighborhood and town, too. New Jersey’s Pride Center is here, there’s lots of cute shops and restaurants, there’s a Friday farmer’s market, a new grocery store that just opened up, nice parks, and much more. I’m also right across the river from urban New Brunswick with Rutgers’ built-in college town.
The best part? It’s all very, very walkable. I’m obsessed with this after 5 years in Miami with basically no public transportation options. I can actually walk to work in about 15 minutes. I can walk into town. I can walk to nature trails with deer.
I can even walk to the train station which will take me to Philadelphia in 1.5 hours and to NYC in just over 1 hour!
Fun In New York
I’m back in the NYC metro area, babyyy!!! And I’ve already taken full advantage of this.
One of my first weekends here, I took the train into lower Manhattan to see the last Saturday night performance of Cats: The Jellicle Ball. This was a Broadway show that combined Cats the musical and queer Ballroom culture. It was so good!
I didn’t have time to get dinner before the show, so after I went to a very famous NYC pizza spot: Joe’s Pizza. This is the same pizza place where Peter Parker works in Spiderman 2, including the videogame version. The pizza is famously good. I was craving good pizza (too much bad pizza in Miami, lol). So this was the perfect first dining experience to have back in my NYC!
Last weekend, I went into the city to visit the David Zwirner gallery and the elephant migration exhibit with friends.
We also went to a “Matinee Disco.” These are special, ticketed club experiences that start at 5pm and end by 9pm so us millennials can go home and go to bed! Hahaha! Perfection.
The next day, I visited the Brooklyn Botanic Garden and then met up with the NYC members of my ballroom house. Although I miss my queer ballroom family in Miami, it’s great to continue the connection through the chapter up here in the Northeast.
What I Miss (And Don’t Miss) About Miami
There are several things I miss about Miami in addition to all the friends and chosen family I made through ballroom and my time at FIU.
I miss the year-round summer and sun. In particular, all of the times I went to the beach for Sunday Funday. I got to have two last beach times before I left Miami, including my birthday. Lots of people came out. I was so grateful to see everyone right before I found out about my job offer and quick move out of state.
I miss the easy access to SCUBA diving—and I’m so glad I got in a couple last dives with Rainbow Reef in the Florida Keys for my birthday right before I left.
I miss my balcony overlooking the pool. Hammock time was great and I loved being able to have people over and have some drinks out on that balcony in the evenings. I look forward to having a balcony again in a future living arrangement, even if I don’t use it in the winters!
I miss my walks to Kendall Indian Hammocks Park. That was such a special park for me. It got me through COVID. While I love and appreciate having seasons and especially Fall colors in my life again, my favorite nature will always be jungle-like tropical plants and trees.
I miss hearing Spanish everywhere I go. It’s really special to be an English speaker and not have the privilege of everyone understanding you all the time—and right here in the USA.
I miss the mix of cultures. The beautiful mix of Latine, Hispanic, and Caribbean cultures made Miami a really special place to be. I learned more about these cultures while I lived there than any other time, even when I’ve traveled to some of the countries represented there.
I miss the community of activists and the energy around activism in South Florida. There’s a different kind of work being done in Florida. While the circumstances are fraught and difficult, there’s a kind of urgency around the work that makes it exciting and feel so supremely justified in a different way than I’ve ever felt. I feel this is bleeding out of Florida, as the attacks against our communities become more typical regardless of location. But Florida is special when it comes to the people and their tireless effort to fight back against a state that simply does not care for them. I’ll always support them and have my heart in the work there!
On that note, there’s several elements about Miami that I don’t miss.
I don’t miss the political climate. Even though it was exciting from an activism standpoint, I have to say that I appreciate having my full reproductive rights back, for one. It’s also nice not to have schools throwing out books and curriculum about who I am, who my peers are, and who so many children will grow up to be regardless.
I don’t miss the dating culture. I don’t like sexist, hyper-masculinity in any form and the variety in Miami (“machismo”) was just as off-putting among the men. Furthermore, it seems most women are a bit more delayed in their outness and experience exploring their sexualities in South Florida. I often felt way ahead of the game in that regard. In general, dating was challenging and I found I connected most with visitors or folks not from Miami.
I don’t miss the traffic! Ugh! Having to drive everywhere was a pain. No access to public transportation at all to get anywhere was awful. While I got used to it, I’m glad to be rid of it and have other options for commuting and tri-state travel.
I don’t miss being far from my family. It’s so great to be back up in this area, where I can drive 2.5 hours and be at my parent’s house or 5 hours and be at my brother’s house. This is the biggest bonus for me in moving back up here!
While there are fewer things I don’t miss, some of these far outweigh the totality of the things I do miss about Miami. Leaving was difficult. I had a nice big cry or two. Overall, my experience in Miami was good to me. I grieved leaving, and now I am embracing my new location! And with any new location comes more travel planning! :)
Future Travel Possibilities
I look forward to writing about some of the highlights from my most recent trip to Mexico. That is still part of my agenda. So stay tuned for that. I also plan to go on other travel adventures in the coming year. For those, I will continue to share the highlights when I feel motivated. So expect intermittent yet incredibly inspired posts, just as I suggested in detail last time.
The major setback I have at the moment is that I am starting at zero again in terms of vacation time. With any new job, building back vacation days takes time and effort. The accrued vacation time is not the only thing I have to earn, I also have to build trust with my supervisor and colleagues so I can leave the work for a stretch of time.
That’s how I prefer to travel—over longer stretches. That means I need to build up a lot of days and a lot of trust!
Until then, I have the opportunity to take long weekends away. Thanks to having 2 work from home days per week at my new job, I can travel to a new location on a Wednesday night, work from that location on Thursday and Friday, and then explore the new location in the evenings and weekend days.
With these work from home days, I can imagine short trips to visit different US cities or National Parks. I’ve got Glacier National Park at the top of that list but we’ll see what comes first.
I can also visit friends and family who are a little farther away than usual. I just have to ensure I have a good internet connection and quiet place to work from 9am-5pm East coast time.
Once I build up enough vacation days, I am hoping to tick off a few new countries that are at the top of my list, including Columbia, Argentina, Antarctica (by research cruise ship), Belize, Morocco, Madagascar, Finland, Tonga, China, Philippines, France, Spain, Portugal, Italy, and Croatia.
I also hope to one day return to a few favorites including New Zealand, Niue, Germany, Iceland, Norway, Curaçao, Costa Rica, Mexico, and Singapore. I know my dad also wants to go to Canada on a grand, RV trip, so I’ll be thinking about how to make that happen, too! :)
In Conclusion
Moving from Miami to New Jersey was a big life change. There were positives and negatives to this journey, but ultimately I am in a net positive. I super happy with work, where I am located now, and all the future possibilities both have granted me.
I can’t wait to see where things lead from here! :)
